Can You Really Have It All?
Can you really have it “all” – all being a career and a family? The honest answer? It depends on you and your journey!
Here’s my story. It’s one of ambition, heartbreak, resilience, and rediscovery. A story of losing almost everything and somehow, in the whirlwind of life, finding my way back to a career I love, just shy of turning 40.
Just over a decade ago, I married my best friend, partner in crime, and love of my life (yes, I know soppy but true!). I was a driven, ambitious woman working in recruitment, laser-focused on smashing the six-figure mark. I was so close I could almost taste it. Life was structured, goals were clear, and the hustle was real.
Then came the decision to start a family, and everything changed.
What we thought would be a natural next step turned into a journey filled with waiting, worry, and heartbreak. After over a year of trying… nothing. Cue the endless doctor appointments, blood tests, scans, and surgeries. Eventually, the verdict was clear: we’d need IVF if we wanted children.
Now, if you’ve never been through IVF, let me tell you, it’s brutal. Hormones, injections, tablets (sometimes both of these multiple times a day), painful procedures, and an emotional rollercoaster like no other. My husband used to joke he didn’t know who he’d be waking up to each morning, and honestly, neither did I. The hormones changed me so much that even I look back and don’t fully recognise the person I was.
We went through:
- Two full egg collections
- A terrifying case of OHSS that landed me in hospital for almost four weeks (egg collections of 30+ will do that to you)
- Seven embryo transfers
- A heartbreaking miscarriage that ended in surgery
- Emergency surgery for a ruptured ovarian cyst and several hospital admissions due to infected ovarian cysts (yuck!)
- And to top it all off, one of our embryos was lost during transfer
Amidst the chaos, I lost something else, my career. The one I had built through blood, sweat, tears, and countless 13/14-hour days and endless weekend work. Gone were the commissions, the income, the recognition, and along with them, the lifestyle we’d worked hard to build. Bye-bye luxury holidays, farewell shiny car, see-you-later house renovations.
And so, in the middle of it all, I walked away. One morning, I walked into work and almost immediately walked straight back out with tears falling before I hit the car park. I wasn’t crying over quitting. I was mourning the loss of the woman I once was. The career-driven, high-performing professional who had built a reputation and a name for herself. But deep down, I knew that my energy needed to go elsewhere. I wanted to be a mum more than anything, and that required every ounce of me.
Fast forward eight years and I’m now mum to two incredible miracle children: A clever, sassy 3-year-old and a tornado of energy disguised as a 2-year-old. And guess what? I’ve found that career-loving woman again.
These days, I work full-time in a fast-paced business, learning an entirely new industry, connecting with amazing people, and yes, all while raising our mini chaos crew. One’s mastering her ABCs, the other is convinced he's the next Spider-Man and regularly attempts to launch himself off the top of the stairs. Every day is different. Some days are, frankly, a blur. But I’m finally feeling fulfilled. I’m back to the person I once was (just with life experience on my side).
I’ve landed a dream job with a boss who truly gets what work-life balance means. There’s still the odd hospital appointment to navigate, but that’s a story for another day. And when I walk through the front door at the end of the day and get smothered in cuddles from the cheeky monkeys we’re raising, that’s the real magic.
So… can you have it all?
Maybe. Maybe not. It depends. On your situation, your support system, your goals and most importantly your definition of "all".
Everyone’s story is different. Even if the chapters look similar, the emotional journey is never the same. So, the next time you wonder, or ask someone, “can you have it all?” please remember, there’s no universal answer. And maybe that’s okay.
Because whatever “all” looks like for you, it’s yours to define.
